After a breakup, many of us just want information (Why did this happen? How did we get to this point?), validation (Is it me?), or just a chance to be heard (Let me share my thoughts) to get closure. But, closure is not just for the one who was broken up with; it is also important for the breaker-upper, who may also be left with unanswered questions and unfinished business after making the decision to end the relationship. Listen as Corey and Tracy talk about different ways they have sought out and finally gotten closure on past relationships. Whether that is Tracy’s incessant processing in the moment or Corey’s deep reflection and pontification, both offer unique ways they have found closure.
- Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning-Learn about Frankl’s story of surviving in a concentration camp and the profound power of relationships during the most challenging times.
- Guided Closure Reflection Activity-Make a list of all the questions you would want to ask your ex after the breakup but either can’t or choose not to. Doing the best that you can, try to take the perspective of your ex and write your responses to those questions as if you were them. Recall past incidents, comments, conversations, and behaviors to help you. For example, if your question is “You told me you felt like I didn’t contribute enough around the house. Why did you think that?” Think of examples that support why that might have been true or at least your ex would believe it to be true, your ex had mentioned the concern before, etc. Remember, it can be easy to speculate doing this exercise. So, try to keep it to the facts and what you know to the best of your ability.