Working Across Differences and Difficulties
S7. Episode 1: Differing Expectations: What happens if you find yourself in a relationship where your expectations are different from your partner’s? Tune in for a lively discussion about what being committed to a relationship versus a person means, the notion of transference (and what that has to do with the old and new Becky on Roseanne), and the dangers of silent expectations . . . along with Corey’s grocery shopping habits and Tracy’s dislike of situationships. Whether you want to learn about how compromise and the third solution differ, the importance of relationship goals, or how to use a reassurance statement, this episode is one you won’t want to miss.
S7. Episode 2: Political Differences in Relationships with Shannon Watson: Tune in for a lively conversation all about politics with Shannon Watson, the Executive Director of Majority in the Middle. Our discussion ranges from media bias to psychological safety and Ashley Madison to cancel culture. Listen as Shannon offers her own thoughts and personal experience around managing relationships across political differences as well as ideas for how to meet in the middle, passively disagree, and find commonalities. Tracy adds in her thoughts on micro and macro aggressions and Corey talks about navigating social media when your “friends” post memes and content that is counter to your beliefs. In the end, Shannon sums it up with, despite your disagreement, “Is it more important to be right(eous) or in relationship?”
S7. Episode 3: Later in Life Lesbians with Coach Jaime Messina: Listen as we chat with mindset and empowerment coach and founder of Club Lilles, Jaime Messina, as she talks about experiences, perspectives, and issues related to later in life lesbians. Jaime shares about her Facebook group of more than 8000 aimed to bring together “high vibe” people in the Sapphic community. She discusses why some women come out later in life, the risks and rewards of doing so, and the long-term impact of “compulsory heterosexuality.” Listen as Tracy shares about her past fear of lesbians at basketball games and Corey’s fifth grade roller-skating boyfriend, both precursors to their coming out. And, while neither Corey nor Tracy identify as later in life lesbians, they were both eager to learn and find ways to be more supportive of the challenges facing this group.
S7. Episode 4: The Age Gap, Long Distance Love Story of the Late to Lez and the Gold Star with Charity and Holly: Listen as we chat with Charity, a late to lez, 49 year-old, looking for someone to fuel her desire to feel “alive,” and Holly, a 35 year-old Gold Star lesbian, who came out at 17, residing five and a half hours away. Tune in as they discuss setting relationship goals, challenging naysayers (although, they have had a lot of support from loved ones), communicating through a variety of methods, and offering “pre-emptive” wedding vows that offer reassurance. Don’t miss Corey’s take on the importance of having seen the movie, St. Elmo’s Fire, and Tracy’s experience with “beards” in college. All in all, this is an episode that will inspire anyone looking for love, as Charity says, “to take the lid off the box.”
S7. Episode 5: Handling Partner Illness with Dr. Jackie Black: How does illness impact relationships? Tune in for this insightful episode with Dr. Jackie Black, marriage educator and board-certified coach for couples, who talks us through the feelings, dynamics, and actions couples often take after finding out one partner is sick. She shares about the value of open-hearted vulnerable communication, showing up as our authentic selves, making sure the care partner tends to their needs, dealing with the grief of the loss of what the relationship was, and balancing hope and resignation. Corey shares about coping with her mom’s death, while Tracy talks about what it’s like to be there for others during a time of loss. As usual, their differences are evident, though. If you aren’t sure, listen in for their lively discussion on the spiral notebook. All in all, Dr. Jackie reminds us that while we can’t prepare for the emotions we may feel if this situation arises, we can have the “end of life” conversations with our loved ones well before so that by the time something might occur, we can focus on being there for the other person rather than trying to decipher logistical details.
S7. Episode 6: Differences in Parental Support with Nic and Heidi: Check out our heartfelt and vulnerable conversation with couple, Nic and Heidi, as they share their coming out journeys and differences in parental support. Nic discusses how her once liberal-minded “hippie” parents took an ideological turn and how that impacted her coming out and relationship with them, while Heidi talks about having an opposite experience with her conservative Christian parents who have embraced her and even Nic. What is it like for them to navigate their relationship while both experiencing vast differences in acceptance and support from their parents? Tune in to learn more about how their communication, honesty, and vulnerability allows Nic, for instance, to ask Heidi to “sit in the mess with me.” And, she does. Also, if you want to know about why you should never talk bad about Tracy’s grandma or how Corey’s mom confronted her about being gay while in a moving vehicle, this is an episode you won’t want to miss!
S7. Episode 7: Opening the Relationship with Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey: Check out our amazing discussion with Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, clinical psychologist and accredited GSRD therapist, as we discuss a multitude of topics around open relationships. Lori Beth walks us through the differences between polyamory, consensual nonmonogamy, and “dating around.” Her insight provides a lot of guidance in what to do if one partner in a monogamous relationship wants to open it up – including how to communicate better, set agreements, and how to contend with jealousy. She explains how personal work around insecurities, trust, and communication, along with working with a trained therapist or coach, can be critical in forging a successful open relationship. While Corey just asks a lot of questions, as this is new territory for her, and Tracy talks about how she is absolutely 100 percent monogamous, they both help keep the conversation lively.
S7. Episode 8: Healing Together with Antonio and Miguel: Don’t get into a relationship until you are healed from the last! Everyone’s heard that advice, but Antonio and Miguel just didn’t take it. Not too long after they both left toxic relationships, they met . . . at a RuPaul-inspired drag show. And, it was clear that they wanted to be together. But, they were each still working on their own healing. Instead of pushing that process aside to start “fresh,” they decided to go through their processes openly while simultaneously starting a new relationship with each other. Join us as we talk with them about their “healing together” process as well as how they help each other work through trauma triggers and red flags that come up in their own relationship. Learn about the feeling wheel, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, communication, and wellness wheel, and how they have embraced those in order to have a healthy, honest, and loving relationship. Corey pipes in with the notion that we are never quite done healing, so in essence, with every new partner, we are healing together. Let’s just call it out and do it transparently. Tracy discusses how parental trauma often cannot be forgotten, and that the trauma we carry is from more than just exes. This powerful episode will leave you thinking about the profound connection that can be developed in healing together.
S7. Episode 9: The Reality of Relationships with Jordan Whitley from Tampa Baes: Join in for an amazing behind-the-scenes conversation with Jordan Whitley from the Amazon Prime show, Tampa Baes. Jordan, along with several other women, starred in this reality series which follows a group of friends navigating the lesbian scene in Tampa/St. Petersburg. Listen as Jordan shares about balancing her long-distance relationship while filming, keeping her private life private, and what she learned about herself and how she shows up in relationships from her television experience. Corey and Jordan exchange thoughts on the familiarity effect, where fans feel like they know celebrities because they saw them on TV or heard them on a podcast. And, Tracy and Jordan both discuss overcorrecting in relationships. This is an amazing conversation you won’t want to miss.
S7. Episode 10: Communicating Across Differences and Difficulties: Tune in as Corey and Tracy talk about a variety of strategies to help couples communicate effectively across differences and difficulties. Hear their views on becoming too invested in other people’s choices, assessing somatic responses, identifying and challenging assumptions, empathy, and boundary setting. But, their discussion isn’t just about what one might do or say WHILE in discussion about an issue; it’s also about the conversation before the conversation – reiterating the relationship goals, laying out guidelines, and setting intentions. And, they agree that if each person is a willing partner whose primary goal is to have a healthy, productive and loving relationship, then approaching these situations with great intention can result in just that.